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It was 31 years ago today in a little United Methodist Church in the town of Lebanon, Pennsylvania that a guy named Rudy committed his life to his bride named Terri. They had no idea the adventure that awaited them in the days to come. But I believe that is a good thing! Too many of us want to know everything that is going to happen and we want it listed out in a clearly organized itinerary. We often demand God to fill us in about the mystery of what waits for us around the bend! We claim that the information would make us better prepared to handle the hot corners that could otherwise cause our tires to blow out. But I don’t believe any of that nonsense for a second.

I have to be honest with you. If God showed up earlier that morning on December 4, 1982 and offered me the detailed script of all that the next 31 years would entail- I can tell you right then and there I would have opted out! I would have said, “No thank you!” I would have traded my life in for a nice bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich on toast! All of the information without the necessary inspiration and essential grace from above that came just when it was needed most was not yet known to me. The future behavior revealed with God’s revelation for me to believe still concealed would have not been enough 31 years ago to provide the stamina to dedicate my heart fully to Terri. All I would have seen was what was written on that list. And being a bit of a pessimist when it comes to my own life, my eyes would have zeroed in on the excessive amounts of rain and pain and heartbreak and loss that lay on our horizon. It would have caused my temperament to boil over and my brain to crash like a cheap computer! It would have moved my body to take the first bus out of Lebanon back to Jersey with the goal to spin the wheel of romance again somewhere down the road!

God knows that we can’t handle knowing all of what tomorrow will bring! He knows that we can be given little glimpses and peeks at what might be playing on our personal screens soon- but to view the whole movie will have to wait. God’s grace is sufficient for our every circumstance but we only know that as we walk through each chapter page by page. God’s mercies are new every morning but we don’t get Thursday’s supply on Wednesday. Even in the Old Testament, the Israelites in the wilderness could only gather enough manna for that day. If they tried to hoard extra, the maggots would have messed the meal! God wanted to teach his children how to trust him and how to believe what he said and how to have faith that the love that his people experienced today would not run in short supply tomorrow. He wants us to learn the same lessons. But we can’t truly experience that reality by only dating God. To know the Lord fully, we must walk the aisle to the front of the altar and before all the watching eyes in our audience- commit our lives fully to God.

Come what may that is what I did with Terri 31 years ago today. I had no idea how hard our life together would turn out to be. But I also had no idea how close two human beings could become when love truly leads the way. God promised us both that December day that he would make us one and he surely has kept his word. Terri is my wife but she is also my best friend. I preach every Saturday and Sunday but Terri is the one I want to tell me how my sermon really was. God made me a dreamer and I do have faith that our Lord can move mountains but Terri is the one I bounce all of my crazy ideas off of. Even though she can go miles without saying a word, Terri is the companion that I must have with me on any journey I take. Terri is the one who knows the real me and still loves me. And Terri is the one that I stood at that church altar for and I waited until she joined me there. And with tears in Ter’s eyes, I made a covenant with her that I would always be there with her no matter whatever came our way. I love her and would do anything for her. I didn’t just want to date her! I wanted to marry her. And knowing all I know now- I would do it all over again. An easy life is not the “Master’s Piece!” The life we have lived has given us our “Master’s Peace!”

I officiate and perform many weddings. I have the best seat in the house- although I stand through every ceremony. I watch the way a bride looks at her groom. I see the man looking through the eyes of love at the gal that is about to share his name and so much more. I wish I could tell you that the magic of that moment will be enough to carry that couple through all that life was about to throw at them. We all know that isn’t true. During the service I will have the man and woman repeat after me and what they communicate to each other is called “The Vows.” They make promises to commit and be there through thick and thin, highs and lows, riches and poverty, sickness and health, the best of times and the worst of seasons that we barely eek our way through. It is the ability to keep those promises that allows love to mature. It is the resilience to keep our oaths and to guard our hearts and constantly look up to God to give us the strength to survive what our weakness only attempts to exploit so our union will crash and burn. With each new adventure comes a brand new chance to hold on to my Terri as we hold on to God together and what comes out on the other side is a marriage that money could never buy made up of memories that are as solid as the rock of Gibraltar.

And on that note, the hopeless romantic in me feels a love song coming on. Are you hearing this Terri? I am singing it for you. And thanks Lord for loving us enough that it is best handled day by day and with each passing moment- for that is how the grace of God is given to us. It is available in an unending supply but never any more or any less than what is necessary right now! Hit it Nat King Cole! “It’s very clear; our love is here to stay. Not for a year but ever and a day. The radio and the telephone and the movies that we know may just be passing fancies and in time may go. But oh, my dear, our love is here to stay. Together we’re going a long, long way. In time the Rockies may tumble, Gibraltar may crumble; they’re only made of clay. But our love is here to stay!”
HAPPY 31ST ANNIVERSARY TERRI! I LOVE YOU!

I just want to unashamedly shout my genuine gratitude towards Heaven today from the top of my lungs and let the whole world know how thankful I am for every gracious and undeserved blessing that God has rained down in my life. Thank you Lord! It hit me the other day that our creative God shows up every morning without fail with brand spanking new mercies to offer us! Great is his faithfulness! Thanks Lord for doing things totally opposite from the way that I would have scripted my living screenplay to go. In what at first was received by me as personal disappointments, I have since come to perceive as your sovereign love for me, and I know I view it clearer than I ever could if you would have just given me everything that I wanted! My Heavenly Papa really does know best and while nothing has been birthed easily- I know that the fruit of my story is genuine and tasty! And just in time for the holidays, I feel like a living fruitcake for Jesus!

Thank you Jesus for caring enough about me that you have taught me discipline and self-control! You had to do it that way or else I was never going to learn about a love that displays any depth! Because you have said “No,” to me more than once- I appreciate the seasons when you do say, “Yes,” all the more! And in my weakness- I have welcomed your strength! In my ignorance, I have depended upon your wisdom! In my inability- your capability was unmistakably clear! By making me wait- I have recognized that some gifts should not be opened prematurely. I don’t think that our culture has been able to recognize true appreciation because we expect everything instantly! Wait for the Lord because he is waiting on you and he will provide what we need exactly when we need it. You can openly choose to take matters into your own hands- and live according to your own devices but it won’t ever be as good as when God is in it! And when God is in it- we come alive as we were created to be! And it is all because of Jesus I’m alive!

Thank you my Savior for being a living example of the fact that eternal love flows from a heart of sold out commitment. Next week my wife Terri and I will celebrate our 31^st wedding anniversary! When we got married we actually looked like a couple but nowadays I feel like I look more like her father than her husband! She hasn’t aged a bit and is just as beautiful as she was on our wedding day! And I honestly do love her more today than I did yesterday but still not as much as I know I will tomorrow! It is only because of God’s never ending supply of agape that I have always been able to count on an ample portion filling me so that it can be spilling from me that I can keep on giving freely to my spouse! We have been through hell and high water together and you can smell the smoke and see some saturation damage- but together we press on! When I have come to the edge of almost falling off the proverbial “losing my sanity” cliff- I have never been let down because the Lord has always used Terri to lift me up at just the right time to make sure that we keep motoring along! And I think that Terri would say that I have done the same for her because that is what loves does when we treat it like the verb that it should be!

Thank you my Shepherd for allowing me to pastor the same flock in the same pasture for the last 17 years! He has made me lie down in the green garden richness of Cape May County! There is something very special about being able to live and walk and eat and move and breathe among the same sheep week after week! Sure sheep are needy and not very self-reliant but if God chose us to be lions or tigers or bears- we might get a little too big for our own britches! I listen to the Lord’s voice and then relay it to the congregation and together we show others what the Lord is all about! And they will know we are Christians not by our buildings, bibles, budgets, big egos, billboards or a holier than thou behavior! Without love we are nothing and we say nothing and we amount to nothing without honest to goodness L-O-V-E!  A church family should really get to know and respect and appreciate and forgive one another because that is the way our Savior treated us! I pray every day that I would show others a clear and accurate picture of Christianity! Being anchored in the same place keeps me accountable and real! Thanks Lighthouse for loving me still!

What are you grateful for this year? What can you celebrate this November? What is going right even amidst all that has gone wrong? Who do you love and do they know it? Who needs to be reminded that they are the sunshine of your life and this earth wouldn’t be the same without them? And are you humble enough to look up and acknowledge that we would not even be here if the Creator hadn’t designed such a masterpiece? We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing! And he has kept his part over and above what might normally be expected! But how have we done? Are we kicking and screaming and specializing in temper tantrums? Or are we finding our healthy attitude in the well of thanksgiving and simple gratitude?

Thank you! Our Mom’s taught us not to forget to say it and our hearts remind us that this is the day to pray it! Happy Thanksgiving my faithful Cape May County Herald readers! I don’t take one of you for granted and if nobody else has said it to you lately, from me to you- “THANK YOU!”    

When did lying become so acceptable in our culture? When did telling the truth become so optional? Why do so many people use words that they have no real intention of ever following through on? Do you go about saying whatever it takes to make yourself look better than you honestly are? Can somebody tell me whatever happened to integrity? Has conscience gone the way of the dinosaur?

One of the reasons that I hate politics is because the truth is so hard to find. Who can you believe? Who do you trust? When promises are broken on a regular basis with very little sorrow or remorse shown by the breaker of the covenant – it is easy to develop a cynical edge to all the speeches made that amount to nothing more than hot air released into our environment.

Preachers need to proclaim the Scriptures, whether the statements are popular or not. Parents need to have the courage to correct their children with a consistent discipline rooted in love. Government officials need to back up their talk with a faithful walk that is willing to take responsibility when things don’t turn out like they were originally communicated. Now more than ever we need leaders that we can look up to who don’t run from the challenge of being mentors and role models! We need men and women with backbone and conviction and the courage to pursue what is right no matter what obstacles might stand in the way.

Let us face reality here. It is easy to pretend to be somebody that you are not. Putting on a show is a whole lot simpler than having to mature in the areas where character is involved. We have all been let down by a man or a woman that we believed in who, upon closer observation, was nothing like the role they played. I really can’t handle fake and phony people! I never could. I hate schmoozing! I don’t have the stomach for chitchat where one tries to outdo the other by passing out vain flattery like it was candy. I would much rather people come as they truly are rather than just sow seeds of hypocrisy into already ruined fields. We need to be brave enough to be the men and women that God created us and recreated us to be. Please!

We have all cheered for sports figures that cheated at their craft and then would not sincerely come clean with an apology. It is one thing to say, “I am sorry” because you have been caught versus really being repentant over the wrongdoing committed because you know you did wrong and your wrong hurt others. Where have you gone Sergeant Joe Friday of Dragnet fame who always prefaced every conversation with this condition: “Just the facts, please, just the facts!”

Teachers need to teach students the value of honor. We all need to be a little less egocentric and lots more others centered. The world does not revolve around us and we do have a duty to look out for one another before we take care of ourselves. Our word is our bond and must carry the weight of it being solid and trustworthy and not just useless fluff adding to the noise of our society. Are you believable? Are you a person who is deeper than they are wide? Are you compassionate and caring and a good neighbor and friend? Do you show up when the heat is on and are you ready to take the hits when it could very well save the whole block and not just your own homestead?

In the 1960’s we shot our dreamers and we didn’t honor well those who had the inner qualifications to take us someplace worth going. In the 1970’s and 80’s we bought into the excess generation and began to live as we deserved it all and then some! In the 1990’s we began to get sloppy with our standards and turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to improprieties as long as we were well fed and had money in the bank. And now today, who can you trust? What happened to those we could look up to? Oh, how the mighty have fallen and have we crossed over the point of no return when it comes to expecting excellence and taking pride in the behavior of our civic leaders?

Help us Lord, we are in over our heads! And I refuse to receive a good grade if it hasn’t been genuinely earned. I don’t like being rewarded on a curve. I reject the notion that everybody should get a trophy and nobody can be criticized. How then shall we live unless we allow somebody more righteous than we presently are to train us up in the way we should go? It does matter what you say and how you act and whether you are a strong finisher and not just a great starter! Do we still dream of perfection? Isn’t sacrifice still a noble cause? It is not every man for himself but loving one another is eternally the golden rule that leads to real life. Please God, save us from living stories way too small and much too predictable. Call us into the much bigger picture than the one we presently see looking only through our own eyes.

The word integrity is related to the roots of words like “integrate” and “entire.” In Spanish it is rendered “integro,” meaning whole. Integrity thus implies the state of being complete, undivided, intact, and unbroken. Such a state contrasts with one that is scattered, fragmented and incomplete. Integrity is really the bond that holds all of our virtues together. It is the distinguishing mark of a man or a woman who has successfully integrated all good principles of life into a unified whole.

Please don’t get sloppy when it comes to defining what a good man or woman should be like. Yes, we come to God just as we are – but if we have really come to God then we never stay the way we are! Ask the Lord to shine a light into your soul so that He can clean up fully the mess of own making and recreate within us human beings who reflect the glory of the Creator!

I have been preaching verse by verse through the book of James these days at The Lighthouse Church in a series we have called “Pressure Points.” Last week we came to James Chapter 3, talking about a part of our bodies that there isn’t a person alive who cannot relate to the potential of its mighty power- and that is “the tongue.” This little New Testament letter tells us that the tongue and its words that flow from it can be used to pass out life sentences or toss out verbal grenades of death and destruction. When you stick out your tongue today- is it a pleasant experience for those who surround you or are they running for cover because nobody knows what to expect?

The Bible mentions many kinds of tongues within its pages. There is a flattering tongue (Psalm 5:9), a proud tongue (Psalm 12:3; 73:9), a lying tongue (Psalm 109:2; Prov. 6:17), a deceitful tongue (Psalm 120:2), a perverted tongue (Prov. 10:31; 17:20), a soothing tongue (Prov. 15:4), a healing tongue (Prov. 12:18), a destructive tongue (Prov. 17:4), a mischievous and wicked tongue (Psalm 10:7), a soft tongue (Prov. 25:15) and a backbiting tongue (Prov. 25:23). James said the tongue might be tiny- but it is packs the same kind of explosives that dynamite might provide! James illustrates its influence by comparing our tongues to be like a bit in a horse’s mouth (James 3:3) steering the direction your life may be riding! It is like the rudder of a ship (James 3:4) determining the course that your ship may be sailing! And in a purely negative sense, it can be as deadly as a devastating fire (James 3:5) leaving everyone within its path charred for good!

Until recently, we were pretty much in the dark about the amazing human body. But when the x-ray came along with its peeping eye- this marvelous instrument has been used to bring solace and healing to much human misery. It has been able to show us pictures of the human heart though it can’t show us the soul. It can pin point upon the throat- but not box in the voice. We have learned much about the brain- but the mind can still be mysterious. Nevertheless, medical science has done much to help with the outer body that wastes away with each new day! If our eyes don’t work- we can get glasses. If the heart or kidney fails us- there are transplants as possibilities! But as far as I know there has never been a tongue transplant!

If we used our arms and legs as much as we have allowed our tongues to run wild, chances are very good that we would be incredibly stiff and sore! But the tongue doesn’t get that tired or tied like it should. I have never seen a splint applied to a sprained tongue! With age, we might have our original pearly whites replaced with dentures- but odds are that you will die with the same tongue intact that you entered into the world with! There are artificial limbs- but no mechanical tongues robotically engineered into our mouths!

The Scottish have a wise saying about communication. They say, “Think twice before you speak once!” How much better would we all be if we weighed each word before we launched it? How many conversations do you wish you could have had a second chance at? I know I would sign up for a rewind button that might have erased all the hurtful quips that I have foolishly let go through my lips! Sticks and stones may break your bones and ignorant loose language will hurt you every time! How many of you are still living with the haunting memories of what beloved individuals have smacked you with through the years? Talk matters! Speak wisely!

When you stick out your tongue today, I pray you take your words and weigh them upon a spiritual scale and ask God to keep you from spouting off careless syllables. Remember- it all begins with the approach you take by simply uttering, “Hello!” Make it matter! Build another up before you take a cheap shot and wipe them out! Not every sentence must be said. Allow the Holy Spirit permission to edit the speech before it is given! Pay attention carefully today to not be another fountain of toxic talk! Beg the Lord to empower you to be a fountain of life and when you do correct or are critical- may it be bathed in grace and mercy and most importantly love!

Teach us Lord to do as the Psalmist says and set a watch at the door of my lips that my speech may always be seasoned with grace (Psalm 141:3). Make my speech always edifying, uplifting, and that which glorifies God. And if I can’t say something positive- then let my negative go as an unspoken gift! Clean up the air pollution of our careless speech! Stick out your tongue and say, “Ah Lord God- speak through me!”

Last Monday night, I had the privilege of seeing the movie “Home Run” with the Men’s Ministry here at The Lighthouse Church. You can actually purchase this film at Wal-Mart. It is a powerful story about personal redemption, second chances, and finding freedom from parental abuse, addiction and inner anger. It is also a reminder of the words of our Lord when he told us that a bruised reed he would not break and a smoldering wick he would not snuff out!

The main character is Cory Brand, a professional baseball player struggling with anger and alcoholism resulting from the childhood abuse he received at the hands of his father. After an embarrassing display of Brand’s shenanigans that included an overblown temper tantrum over an umpire’s call on the ball field in which he actually knocked over the ten year old bat boy resulting in giving him a bloody nose- Brand is forced to return to his Oklahoma childhood home and enter a 12-step program called Celebrate Recovery. Even on the way home Brand almost kills himself and his brother by driving way too fast and driving while intoxicated! Back home, away from the crowds and the spotlight, Brand is forced to confront his personal demons and find meaning in his life and for himself and also for those he loves.

For those unfamiliar with Celebrate Recovery, it is a biblical and balanced program that helps men and women overcome hurts, hang-ups, and habits. It is based on the actual words of Jesus rather than psychological theory. 20 years ago, Saddle Back Church where Rick Warren pastors, launched this ministry with 43 people. It was designed as an outreach to practically help those being suffocated by their addictions by simply showing those attending the loving power of Jesus Christ through a recovery process. Since then, Celebrate Recovery has helped more than 17,000 people at Saddleback, attracting over 70% of its members from outside the church. 85% of the people who go through the program stay with the church and nearly half serve as church volunteers. I know many of you in Cape May County are very familiar with this wonderful vehicle of healing and hope! Celebrate Recovery is currently in over 19,000 churches worldwide including The Lighthouse Church.

Speaking in the Light today, I want to share some simple truths and principles from this amazing film that I pray will encourage and challenge someone today!
1. The Power of a Father’s Influence – All Dads knowingly or unknowingly provide influence and direction for their children. Corey’s abusive father greatly determined his son’s self-worth and behavioral patterns and not for the better!
2. Fathers Often Determine Their Children’s Level of Confidence – Fathers have the ability to make their children feel like they can accomplish anything or do absolutely nothing. They can make the kids feel like pure gold or do things that result in making them feel utterly worthless. Hey Dad, what direction are you pointing your children towards today?
3. Every One of Our Actions Have Consequences – Even with his status as a professional athlete, Brand could not escape the consequences of his actions and the same is true for all of us. Always remember that every one of our choices we make to act will have consequences that go way beyond just us! This life is not a solo performance and no matter what the poets’ say- no man is an island unto himself!
4. “Why don’t you just shoot Bambi next time?” – Sometimes our behavior gets so ridiculous and out of control that it reaches a point of being laughable even though it is a tragic comedy of errors. The sight of one of God’s creation spiraling into a pit of despair out of control is never really very funny at all! Today’s media has made a circus act out of so many of our celebrities!
5. “I still can’t believe they talk like that in church.” – During Cory’s first counseling session, a gentleman discussed the challenges he faced with an addiction to pornography. If you can’t bring your brokenness and sin to the church- then where are you supposed to go? No perfect people allowed! Only those who admit they are sick and need repentance and redemption will ever find Jesus! The most effective churches are the ones where people can be real and authentic about the struggles they face. To simply put on a happy face keeps the soul sick and depressed!
6. “Nothing great happens when you hold back.” – A tree’s fruit is out on the limb, not near the trunk. The best leaders know nothing great happens without a pioneering sense of adventure and bravery. They used to tell me that a ship is safe in the harbor but life has taught me that when storms and hurricanes come- the harbor is the last place a ship wants to be! It literally has no chance of survival because it has become dormant and basically a sitting duck! Ships have a better chance out in the storm being available to move and dodge and even be driven by the wind. I have never looked to just play it safe; and in those adventures I have come to know that I must always depend on God. You never want to be where you don’t need him because if you don’t need him- you won’t ever get to know him.
7. “It takes courage to be a parent. It takes bravery to lead our children. Parenting is not for cowards.” – Enough said! It is time for us to grow up and take on the responsibilities that are right there before us looking for love, guidance, affection, security and stability!
8. “The hurt inside of you is going to hurt others.”- Face it Family, we pass along what it is in our own hearts and if our souls are chock full of bitterness and anger and resentment and abuse- well guess what will be spilling out of us whether we want it to or not. This is why we all need redemption and we all need God to heal what we have been bruised and broken from! To do nothing is to do more harm than good. The best step any of us can take is to admit our need for a Savior and then let Him save us through and through! No matter what it takes- it will keep the poison from taking us!

There is always hope to change. Your past does not have to determine your future. When an individual experiences the deep, transformational love of Jesus Christ, anything is possible. And here is the best news of all! God really does exist and he can be the Father you have always been longing for! Perhaps you suffered from a father who was abusive, hurtful, demeaning, showed conditional love, or even abandoned you. This is something that will be with you for your entire life. But a reality exists that you also have access to a Heavenly Father who deeply loves you, will never forsake you, thinks the world of you, is crazy about you, and died for you so that the two of you can spend every moment for eternity together. His name is Jesus Christ. Do you know him? Will you?

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover although I have learned that the best selling literary works of today are purchased not for their content but because they have an attractive jacket! Scary thought! Although I know many people who act like Christians on the outside but that doesn’t necessarily make them believers in the heart. Perhaps they are just very good actors and actresses! We are not always what we seem. We must be willing to do some digging if we are ever going to discover if there is a true depth of treasure in another’s soul. The price tag alone is never enough to declare the worth of the product. What many have dismissed as garbage as for me turned out to be pure gold. What do we really know about defining and determining value?

One of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, offers some fascinating food for thought in his book, “Searching For God Knows What.” In a chapter entitled, “Lifeboat Theory,” Miller starts out by recalling an assignment that he was given back in grade school that I also remember having been appointed by my Social Studies Teacher.  It was wrapped up in a subject that what was called “Values Clarification.” The challenge given to us ten year old kids went something like this: “A major ocean liner left the coast of England two days ago.  The ship is on its way to New York.  There is an international passenger list and the majority of the people have just entered the dining room for lunch.  All of a sudden there is a major explosion in the engine room.  Life boats are released and the passengers start to board them.  The ship is slowly sinking and there remains only one more lifeboat.  It holds six people, but there are ten people on deck.  Here is the list of ten people:

1. An      African-American activist who also is second-year medical student…
2. A      54 year old Rabbi…
3. A      beautiful woman who is a Swedish bio-chemist…
4. A      famous Hollywood actress-singer-dancer…
5. An      Arab diplomat…
6. A      31 year old Japanese accountant-
7. And      his 30 year old wife who is also six months pregnant…
8. A      Brazilian athlete-all sports superstar…
9. A      42 year old Hispanic poet…
10. A      United States White Male CIA agent with interpreting skills…

The task for your group is to decide which six people will board the last lifeboat and which four will go down and drown with the ship. You will have ten minutes to decide.  Which four will you eliminate?  Why?”
How do we as human beings go about making such decisions? How do we determine whose life matters anyway? What do we do as people to avoid being those who are deemed unimportant? Think about it! In so many ways all of us act intentionally through various means and via a whole host of creative avenues to do whatever it takes to assure that we would be somebody who would be given a seat in the Lifeboat! I don’t want to be one of those who wouldn’t get in!