21 07 2020


Don‘t be afraid to know who you are. Don’t be afraid to show who you are. But you can’t really show it until you actually fully know it! And you can’t genuinely know it until you allow God to show it to you via a connection with the Lord in your heart!

Lord, I am not fully sure of who the real me honestly is. Am I outspoken? Am I shy? Am I passionate? Am I lazy? Do I authentically care about others or just care how I present myself? Am I a performer? I am an actor who can play any role because I have played them all, but I want You to reveal to me who I am! Who is Rudy Sheptock, Jr? Am I strong? Am I weak? Am I a man of fear or full of saving faith? Am I a lover or a user? Am I selfish or selfless? Am I an adventurer or am I looking for a lounge chair? Am I ready to risk it all or simply play it safe?

 In my heart, I am a child still looking to be cherished and loved. I have an unbelievable capacity to dream and imagine and see what could be! I have tasted Your compassion and salvation Jesus, and without You, I would not still be here on earth. I believe in miracles! I have no doubt other than You only can say the word and Your will is done.

 I do love to entertain and move the hearts of those around me. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. It is so easy to laugh out loud or cry ferocious tears at the drop of a hat. I was created to sing and music is what my soul craves and desires. I can break out into a song in moments flat and I love to belt out the ballads at the top of my lungs. I am an anxious, driven and high-strung individual. I care deeply for others and am overly loyal to a fault. I am drawn to the stories of people and get impatient with the shallow, surface and cliché side of life.

I can’t wait to go to Heaven. There are many huge holes in my gut left by the death of my children, my Dad, my Grandmother and wonderful friends who have already graduated to glory. My faith is my purpose and I would love nothing more than to fast forward through the pain and the disappointment and just land in the open and waiting arms of my God.  But I know that to live is to allow the Lord to shine in me and through me. I want my life to be His stage so that He becomes the Star and I become the platform that He acts upon.

I repent of my selfishness and my need to not be invisible. I create a world in my flesh that is far from reality and when I escape to it, I become more bitter than better. I hate not knowing what is happening and despise being surprised. I like to lead but will follow when I respect the one who is guiding me. I hate being told, “No!” I am bored by details yet respect their importance. I loathe rejection and know the scars of being bullied and beat up. I want to be God’s servant and yet struggle with assignments that I don’t enjoy! I admire those who are laid back and more even keel in their personalities. My highs are very high and my lows are extremely pronounced and there isn’t much middle ground when it comes to my style of operating.

I have prayed fervently that God would use my life to make a positive mark upon others. I want to make a difference and have people experience the love of Jesus through me. Please Lord make my faith contagious, my concern genuine, my words true, my life adventurous and my legacy something that points clearly to You! Continue to melt away my insecurity, impatience, unbridled intenseness, immature restlessness, apathetic laziness, worldly weariness and downright disillusionment. I want to live what I know to be true, because I know I am forever loved by You, God!

My surrounding culture has plastered many labels upon me over these sixty years. They have included “Teacher’s Pet,” “Goody Goody,” “Dreamer,” “Straight A Student,” “Nice Kid,” “Shy,” “Baseball Fanatic,” “Music Lover,” “Fresh,” “Awkward,” “Too Independent,” “The Oldest,” “Responsible One,” “Leader,” “Loud,” “Crazy,” “Charismatic,” “Christian,” “Jesus Freak,” “Pastor,” “Too Emotional,” “Maverick,” “Enthusiastic,” “Passionate,” “Husband,” “Daddy,” “Pop-Pop,” “Coach,” “Intense,” and “Creative.”  But what do you think Lord? By what calling have you defined me? Where is my anointing and appointment? Lord, who do You say that I am?

There is something very powerful about a man or woman who knows who he or she is in the eyes of our Lord! Society’s titles may come and go but only God’s defining earmarks are eternal. Do you know how God has wired you? Are you willing to boldly and courageously become that person by His Holy Spirit?

Here is how I heard the Lord speak over me many years ago while I was on a Men’s Conference in Colorado. I heard God say, “You are Rudy Sheptock, Jr and you are mine and I love you. I am delighted in who you are and who you are still becoming because of me. You are tender in heart and passionate in conviction and you care about holiness and justice and My kingdom coming and My will being done on earth as it is in heaven. I have gifted you, anointed you and appointed you to be a preacher and a prophet. I desire you to communicate to as many as possible as effectively as possible about who I am. You will speak My truth but do so under the umbrella of My grace and mercy. Your life speaks of a contagious faith and an authentic joy found not in possessions but in My presence. You are faithful and won’t give up. You share your doubts but you bring them to Me and in Me alone, you find the strength you need not just to carry on but to climb mountains and soar high into mid-air! You must keep sharing My Love and My Word so that many will move from doubt to faith. Be my watchman on the wall. Look up and then look out and take care of My flock. Write new songs of praise and let your life be a living testimony of what I have done and what I will do. Be passionate! Be bold! Be fiery! Be faithful! Embrace the name that God calls you by.

Why is it so hard for us to accept the packaging that God chose to put our soul and spirit within? How many of us care more about what the box or bag looks like when what really matters most is the gift that God has put inside each and every one of us. Lord teach us to look beyond the outer tent so that we may fully come to know the true essence of who we really are. And don’t allow anyone around you to steal your God given identity. Nobody can steal who God created you to be. Only you can choose to settle for living a life of so much less. Do not look to paper and position to prove who you really are. Look up and then look inside and with a gleam in your eye and courage in your soul live out loud a life that honors the Lord who loved and redeemed you. Go forth in faith and wait for God to reveal each and every one of His precious promises right before your eyes!       



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