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I am the proud Daddy to four wonderful children and Pop-Pop to presently four but soon to be six grandchildren. My oldest Son Rudy pastors a church in Ebensburg, Pennsylvania. My Daughter Leah is a Teacher in Dennis Township. My Daughter Abbie is the Worship Director at the Lighthouse Church. My youngest Son Joel is a Junior at Cape May Tech. Each one of my children have their unique and very special talents and God given abilities. Yesterday Leah celebrated her 32nd Birthday. She is expecting twins in the Spring and as a Kindergarten Teacher, there is no one better! Today I want to share with you something my youngest Daughter Abbie wrote recently. She like her Father has a way with words. I hope you enjoy this blessing.

Abbie writes, “Every year for the past decade has been marked by a word. December would roll by, leading us into the “start” of a new year, a new day, a new word. With each word, came a prayer and hope of what the Lord might mold or shape. So many words. Hope. Simplicity. Steadfast. Bold. Expectancy. Cultivate. To be honest. This year, I got nothing. No word. No revelation. No feeling or pull toward a certain phrase. Nothing popping off the pages of the dictionary.

There were moments in early January, as I saw “Word of the Year” posts where I grew frustrated and even fought feelings of failure. My plan-ahead anxious mind went down rabbit trails, How do you move forward if you don’t have a clear vision. Can you march faithfully onward without a word shaping the forefront. But maybe it’s not a word this year. I penned these words 4 years ago:

“I want more than anything to be able to share a testimony of the changes in my life so more people can know freedom and come to know Jesus.”

The pain yet freedom, steps backward yet triumphant leaps forward—that all followed in the year and years to follow those words—I believe are only a glimpse of what is to come, of how He will continue to bring those words to fruition. Prior to penning those words, was this paragraph:

“You know how I’ve lived one way for what seems like a million years and some days it feels like a huge chore for me to even put my feet on the ground and get out of bed—and those days it’s easy for me to get wrapped up in how I’m feeling because it’s not how I want to be feeling. Well, today was one of those days.”

I kept trying to find a way to work my way out of it this morning. And I struggled a lot to get moving. I struggled to stay focused during devotions, to stay focused at the gym or to even want to do anything. But I went for a walk outside anyways. And I was trying to figure out how to not beat myself up because of how unmotivated I was. And then it hit me that maybe these days aren’t the worst. Because, maybe on days like this instead of focusing on feeling defeated by my feelings (which the enemy would love), I can feel strengthened by my Jesus. Because it’s days like this that we can be extra thankful that His love is unconditional. And without days like this, I wouldn’t know the sweetness of His grace or the peace of surrendering. So even though I want to cry about everything, I can still say today has purpose. I need to give myself the freedom to feel instead of automatically attacking myself and give the Lord control, then I can be assured that it actually is going to be okay. It’s not my job to try and fix everything “wrong” with me.”

I wish I could go back to that girl, the same way that I know I’ll want to come back to who I am today—and share the reminder—that it actually will be okay. If and when, Jesus is first.  At the end of the day, the story is still the same. To know freedom, is to know Jesus. To know peace, is to know Jesus. To know the sweetness of grace is to know Jesus. To wake to new mercy is to wake to Jesus. To know strength in weakness is to know Jesus. To know gentleness in the midst of an anxiety attack, is to know Jesus. To know motivation to get up and go and move when depression weighs on your chest, is to know Jesus. To know purpose, is to know Jesus. He is the author. The perfecter. Etched and woven into all of history—from the beginning, it was Jesus. For always, it will be Jesus. And if I have any hope or word for this year it’s Him. My word is a name. It’s Jesus.”