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There was a blind girl who hated herself because she could not see. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her no matter whatever. She told her boyfriend, “If I could only see the world, I would marry you in a heartbeat.”  One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including for the very first time her faithful boyfriend. He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The girl looked at her boyfriend and learned for the first time that he was also blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that.  She had always thought that he could see. The thought of looking at his blindness the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying, “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.”  He had given her a great gift born out of tremendous sacrifice to him and she had returned the favor by exiting as fast as she could. 

True love always involves sacrifice.  It isn’t real love if it doesn’t cost you your absolute best.  And to try to even perceive that you can love and not be hurt is pure foolishness for one of the fruits of the real deal is lasting and painful but positive scars. 

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.  So often when we finally receive what we want- we too often forget what we really needed in the first place!  Maybe the unhappy person isn’t someone who didn’t get what he or she wanted. Perhaps the unhappy person is the one who got what he or she wanted and then found out that it wasn’t as wonderful as expected. 

As we tread into another hectic holiday season, what is it that you really want this Christmas?  Do you really know?  If you look close enough, could it be that you already own what you think that you might be looking for?  Reflect on this nugget for a moment: could it be that the best gift that you will ever receive is already your present?

Life Is a Gift!!! Today before you say an unkind word – think of someone who can’t speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food – think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife – think of someone who’s crying out to God for a companion. Today before you complain about life – think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before whining about the distance you drive think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job – think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down- put a smile on your face and think: “You’re alive and still around.”

One last story before I go. Late one night a father received the one phone call that parents dread the most, the one we all pray never comes. It was the highway patrol. A vehicle carrying four teenagers had spun out of control at high speed and rammed into a barrier. All the passengers had been killed. The officer on the phone said, “We believe your daughter may have been on of the victims.” Ashen-faced, the father drove to the hospital it identify the body of his beautiful girl, snuffed out in the prime of life. As he sat there in the emergency room with his head in his hands, grieving and shocked, he heard a police officer mention that alcohol was probably the culprit in this accident. Several broken whiskey bottles had been found in the wreckage beside the mangled bodies. Now the father had a focus for his frenzied anguish. He rose up in a rage and threatened to kill whoever had provided the four young people with liquor. He would find the guilty party, whatever it took!

Back home, overwhelmed by grief and rage, he stumbled into the kitchen and opened the cupboard where he kept his own supply of alcohol. There he found a note in his daughter’s handwriting. His heart leaped to his throat. The note read, “Dad, we’re taking along some of your liquor – I know you won’t mind”.

The people around us absorb how we live much more than what we say. Our lifestyle influences them more than our words. Our walk impacts them more than our talk. When our life is consistent with our words, it makes a difference in the lives of other. Jesus’ words had such an impact because His teachings were consistent with how He lived. His life matched His words, the crowds could utter, “No man ever spoke like this man because there was never a man who lived like He lived.” There was no gap between what Jesus said and how He lived. Skeptics may debate an idea, but they cannot deny God’s power in the awesome testimony of a changed life. When those closest to us see Christ’s love revealed in all our actions, they too will stand in awe of how great He is!

So today is a brand new day!  Don’t complain- commit to giving your best and let Jesus take care of the rest.  And be thankful, because when we live life like every good thing that happens in life is gravy- it makes the mashed stuff taste so much better!

It is the most wonderful time of the year.  I love Thanksgiving Day.  We haven’t commercialized the heck out of it yet!  There are still no presents to buy.  We come together to be around the table.  We come to be with one another.  Relationships still matter most about this holiday.  We come with our only agenda being to give thanks.  And you can’t give thanks without expecting there to be a Receiver of all that gratitude.  God is very much still essential to this special time.  God is still the only reason for the season!

I am grateful.  I have been through many scary moments this year.  I had my first heart attack back in late June.  I have cut back on my work hours by letting go of my daily morning radio show on FUN 106.7 and even though I absolutely loved doing that program and being with my wonderful listeners on a regular basis, I knew that it was finally time to truly wake up before it got to be too late.  I love being a pastor and I love my flock and I have the best spouse in the entire world and been given such awesome children and I was blessed with my first grandson this year!  I am a Pop-Pop now, so I’ve got to take better care of myself so that I get to stick around and take Jude to his first Mets game some day soon!  I know nobody else will!

Thanksgiving Day!  This is a unique time to count our blessings and name them one by one.  It is our moment to whisper the words that matter most.  It is our gift to God to be able to express our appreciation for all of the Lord’s good gifts to us.  I have my own tradition that I do every fourth Thursday in November.  I go through the alphabet and I thank the Lord from A to Z!  It’s easy you know.  And it takes our eyes off of all that we complain about not having and gets us to embrace all that we do possess!  You can do it.  Here is mine!    

THANKSGVING FROM A-Z by Pastor Rudy

Thank you Lord for America

And Baseball that old friend of mine

And Cars to get to church on time

And Dreams to leave this world behind.

Thank You Lord for Everyone

And Families where the love is strong

And Games we all can play along

And Hope that gives our hearts a song.

Thank You Lord for Individuals

And Jingle Bells to follow soon

And Kisses under an autumn moon and

Lazy summer afternoons.

Thank You Lord for the Macy’s parade

And Newborn babes in the nursery

And Old dear friends we long to see

The Photographs and memories.

Thank You Lord for Quiet times

And Raking all the scattered leaves

And Snow that falls on Christmas Eve

And Times You teach us to believe.

Thank You Lord for Unity

And Visiting us so Willfully

Now X marks the spot of You in me

A holy Zeal for all to see.

Thanksgiving in America

We don’t always show our gratitude

But Lord something we need to do

Is say, “Thank’s A Lot to You!”

Why not take the time this week to make your own list?  I dare you to!  And if you are able- why not join a community of thankful people by coming out to Christ Gospel Church Wednesday Night November 23^rd for Middle Township’s Annual Thanksgiving Eve Service at 7:30 PM?  I will be sharing the message and I would love if you were there to celebrate another breath- another day- another opportunity to hope and pray and believe!  We have been given so much to be thankful for!!!   HAPPY THANKSGIVING FAMILY!!!!

Celebrated speaker and author Chuck Swindoll tells the story about renowned Austrian composer Gustav Mahler who lived a life marked by a trail of tragedy. During his adolescence, he lost seven brothers and sisters to early death. The coffin became a regular piece of furniture in the Mahler household. And to add insult to injury, the home in which Mahler was raised became a combative battleground of various forms of abuse. Mahler’s father became a cruel alcoholic who often took out his rage by beating up Mahler’s mother. She became a vulnerable invalid who was at the mercy of her husband’s angry blows.

Mahler survived this early hell and eventually married. He and his wife were blessed with a beautiful daughter whom Mahler adored. Mahler was energized by nature and he sought being in the great outdoors often. People who knew him commented on the fact that Mahler had a magnificent laugh and an infectious love of life. His family did enjoy some good times together but they too were cut short when Mahler’s beloved daughter lost her life at only four years of age. Mahler never really fully recovered from this loss. Can anyone blame him? Besides losing his little girl, he also lost his position at the Vienna Opera House because of his Jewish heritage. Shortly after that, doctors informed Mahler that he had a serious heart condition and would not live much longer. And in the midst of all this turmoil, music was born.

Gustav Mahler composed his marvelous Ninth Symphony, one of classical music’s best-loved, richest and most complex creations. It is my hope that this article itself will cause you to seek out this wonderful piece of music and bask in its richness. By doing so, Mahler allowed his pain to be transformed into passion. We actually get our word English word “passion” from its root- the word “pain.” It is not that Mahler pretended that he had no hardships. It was that he used the emotion and wove it into something beautiful and priceless. The lessons that he learned and the trials that he endured can actually be heard in the melody. If one listens carefully, one can also hear the laughter and the special moments that Mahler shared with his wife and daughter.

The lesson of what I am trying to communicate is simply this: I don’t think we can properly sing the song of life from the heart until we have endured a little bit of personal suffering. To use a purely secular illustration that helps prove my point is referring us to the music of the late great, “Ol’ Blue Eyes,” Frank Sinatra. In the 1940’s, Frank Sinatra was the apple of every bobby-soxer’s eye. He sang the hits and the young girls swooned. But his best vocals of the very songs that he performed in the 40’s were actually done again in the 1950’s. But this time Frank had been through some painful setbacks in both his personal and public life and this time when he sang, “I’m a Fool To Want You,” it was as if we were hearing somebody pour out his heart and soul on vinyl because in reality, it was just that.

This is why it is no surprise that those of us who have experienced times of incredible grief and overwhelming sorrow have turned the radio of our soul on to allow God’s gift of music to somehow give us strength. It’s funny that when there are no words that do justice to speak what is going on in the inner parts of our spirit, we can still turn to melodies that we may sing our soul so that others around us might get a clue of how we really feel. Wounded hearts that choose to look up rather than give up actually open a door for God to teach us that some of the best beauty that He ever allocated, may well be discovered in our brokenness.

Bill and Gloria Gaither wrote one of the first Christian songs that I had ever learned. The lyrics tell me that I don’t need to shy away from pain for it was in my pit of discouragement that I discovered that I needed God and He was happy to receive me to make something beautiful of my life…

Something Beautiful Something beautiful- something good… All my confusion- He understood… All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife- But He made something beautiful of my life… Please remember, great people who have accomplished great things often come from tragic beginnings. I am praying that even in the midst of the hard times today- God is putting a new song in your heart that not only will you be able to sing tomorrow- but the entire world will be better off because of the music you’ve made.

As I sit down today to pen my weekly parable in the paper, I ask myself a cutting question that is sticking me to the core where it genuinely hurts! How vulnerable do I really allow myself to be? How naked with my soul am I willing to get? I have lived with this chain for almost 50 something years and the not sharing it- I mean really sharing it- hasn’t brought me any consolation, so is now the time to get it off my chest? Is today the day I need to confess my biggest obstacle to my ability to actually be able to totally live free, without the wear and tear of the care that I am consumed by literally 24/7? God, what do you want me to do?

I hate myself! There, I said it! I do not like me! I especially detest the packaging, the tent, the body that God has chosen for me to house my true identity within! This blemished abode of my soul has served more like a prison cell than a launching pad to me through the years. I can’t count the number of days I have lost because I have been betrayed by my own flesh and blood which almost seems to have a mind of its own in choosing to work against me when all I humbly desire is to finally break free and soar above it all and go for it! But I constantly get stuck in the muck of the mess of who I am! I look in the mirror and I feel no different about my reflection than I did in the 7th grade when I said the very same thing, “Rudy Sheptock, you are the ugliest piece of crap that I have ever seen!” And in gazing intently at that portrait staring back at me- I lose the drive to live and a paralyzing anxiety overwhelms me and I am rendered useless and end up looking for a bunker to hide in rather than a beacon to shine in!

Now please don’t preach me a sermon for I have preached them all myself. I know the truth! I know the verses! I have met blessed individuals who were born with so many more apparent disabilities than me and by their actions- I see them and all they do and who they have become and I am put to shame! I have been to counselors, retreats, dermatologists, and prayer meetings to beg God for a sweet and miraculous healing and a victorious release- but I am still here. I am 52 years old and I am still being daily beaten by what beat me up as an adolescent all those years ago and I don’t know what to do! I hate it! I call it, “my thorn in the gut,” but I would much rather to not call it at all anymore. I want to change my number and not give it any forwarding address. Simply put, I just want to get up each day and not have to worry that what I look like will prevent me from applying what I fervently long to be like! So many of you have never seen the best of me because I am locked up and I want to have God lovingly and graciously break these chains from my heart once and for all!

Why am I sharing this? I have no idea. I did feel God prompting my heart to share this part of me. Maybe to encourage someone out there who feels like I do? So many people think that they know you, but what do they really know? Who do they really know? Don’t we realize that they only see you in part and only you see more and only God sees the whole? It is funny, when I was younger I thought that once my teenage years were over that this would go the way of puberty- but I’m not getting any younger and my days are feeling very numbered and I am starting to wonder is this the best that it is going to be this side of heaven? Is it always going to be hard? Is there ever going to be a finish line to what has turned out to be a never-ending race? Am I going to live to see a graduation day- lesson learned- now let’s move on moment? Or is this part of my legacy and history that God in His crazy and clueless to me ways has helped shape who I am? Don’t know much about geometry- don’t know any trigonometry- I couldn’t use a slide rule to save my life- but I do know what I am longing for and I haven’t found that yet! What knucklehead invented mirrors anyway? Does he or she know the tragedy that this product has brought me?

I have no answers or conclusions to this presentation. I am just opening up my personal closet to let it all air out! If the moths have gotten the assumption that I like them eating away at the garments of my sprit- they are most definitely mistaken! I know God loves me and it has been that fact, even when I don’t feel it, which has kept me from quitting! I know I am loved by my wife and my family and my friends and I know I love them- probably more than they know- because there have been too many days this barrier has blocked me in from the privilege I would have had to show it! But I will not be satisfied until this dagger has been destroyed- and I long for it to happen before it might destroy me! It has come close to causing my soul to shipwreck- but the lighthouse of the Lord’s unchanging compassion has always led me back to shore! So here are the verses that are hung on the wall of inside Rudy! Here is God’s word that I cling to and claim and know that somewhere down the road- I will experience for myself! 2 Corinthians 4:16-18,

“16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

I have just finished reading Natasha: The Biography of Natalie Wood written by Suzanne Finstad and read by Natalie’s younger sister Lana. I have always loved Natalie Wood since the first time I saw the 1947 classic and my all time favorite film, “Miracle on 34th Street,” where she played Susan Walker the young girl who goes from rejecting all notions of fairy tales and fantasy to becoming the faithful believer in Kris Kringle. I have seen that movie more times than I can even count and I still cry real tears at the ending when Susan cries, “Stop Uncle Fred, Stop!” and gets out of the car to discover her dream house which proves to her once and for all that Mr. Kringle really is Santa Claus. I think I might need a tissue now just thinking about it!

Natalie Wood was one of the few actresses who was able to make the jump from being a successful child star to becoming a stunning adult icon! I loved Natalie in “Rebel Without A Cause” when she played a vulnerable teenage girl who really just wanted to be loved by her Daddy! And Natalie was innocence personified as the character Deanie in “Splendor In The Grass,” the screen debut of another Hollywood heartthrob named Warren Beatty. But I will forever remember her as the breathtaking and beautiful Maria in “West Side Story” which made me always want to play Tony on stage- a role that I still haven’t taken on and I am not getting any younger! Whoever heard of a 52 year old guy doing the kind of choreography that was demanded between the Jets and the Sharks?

Now what really disturbed me about Natasha’s story is the role that her mother had played in manipulating this sweet natured, good-hearted, jewel of a little girl with those pronounced big brown eyes to become a profoundly neurotic and troubled adult. Natalie’s mother was very definitely the Stage Mother from Hell! Natasha never wanted to be anything but a normal kid but she was never even given the option. From her birth, Natalie’s mother Maria had committed to making her daughter the most famous movie star this world had ever known. When Maria would take little Natasha to the movies quite regularly, Natalie was quoted as later saying, “My mother used to tell me that the cameraman who pointed his lens out at the audience at the end of the Paramount newsreel was taking my picture. I’d pose and smile like he was going to make me famous or something. I believed everything my mother told me.” The only problem was that Maria was a manipulative, scheming, emotionally abusive woman. And that fact would be defined in her most devastating and scarring act that she pulled upon her then 6 year old Natalie.

Wood had made her film debut a few weeks before she had even turned five, in a fifteen-second scene in the film Happy Land (1943). Despite the brief part, she attracted the notice of the director, Irving Pichel, who her mother used to coerce Natalie to become a pen pal with writing weekly letters dictated by her mother. Pichel remained in touch with the family for two years until another role came up. Pichel really did not want Natasha to become a child actor and have her whole childhood lost! He had discouraged this obsession but it fell on deaf ears to Maria. When Natasha’s mother had heard about another Pichel movie about to begin casting, she lobbied Pichel to bring Natasha to Los Angeles for a screen test. Maria became so excited at the possibilities, she overreacted and packed the whole family off to Hollywood to live. Natalie’s father opposed the whole idea, but his wife’s overpowering ambition to make Natasha a star was not going to be thwarted.

So the 6 year old Natalie was screen tested to play a German orphan opposite Orson Welles and Claudette Colbert in “Tomorrow is Forever.” When the juvenile Natalie was required to cry during a scene and found she was having trouble summoning the necessary tears, her mother pulled her off to the side, took a live butterfly out of a jar, and tore its wings off. Natasha became terrorized as her tender heart was ripped to pieces. In that chaotic state, her mother yelled out to the director, “Natalie’s ready now- let’s do it.” How any parent could put that kind of unreasonable pressure upon their child at the age of six is beyond me. It makes me both angry and sad that this precious girl was hemmed in by such a cage that she was never really given the ability to become the person that God had designed her to be!

Unfortunately, Natalie’s story is all too common in the lives of those individuals that we have come to emulate and love over the years. Things more often than not are not as they seem. Natalie Wood was a creation, a badge that Natasha was forced to wear and put on as she got up every morning. One can only wonder who this woman would have really been had she been encouraged to follow her own dreams and be the person that the Creator had designed her to be. Something tells me that her tale would not have ended in a mysterious drowning in the dark water that she was brainwashed to fear all of her days!

Overall, Natalie’s life seemed to be one of failed opportunities, thwarted ambitions, unfulfilled dreams, and resentful disappointment. Still, because of the essence of who she genuinely was that was buried under an avalanche of trappings, she remains likeable throughout, and if she did succeed at anything in life-besides raising her children- it was in maintaining her basic decency and integrity in the face of daunting odds like a dysfunctional mother, an alcoholic and emotionally absent father, a non-existent childhood, adult “demons” that she seemed unable to shake, and a lifestyle that seemed to encourage hedonism and decadence. Oh what might have been-If only she had been free to be!

I share this tragic tale because we human beings do have a responsibility to one another to not shape each other in our own molds or images or have them conform to our own manipulations or aspirations but to be discerning facilitators and godly instruments so that every person may be able to find their God given identity and then be given the freedom to pursue that calling without being sidetracked or sabotaged along the way!

Have you ever been made to feel stupid in front of hundreds of people?  It happened to me yet again at Six Flags/Great Adventure this past Saturday.  I was there with about 60 young people from our Lighthouse Church Youth Group and even though I had a minor heart attack earlier this summer, I was determined to not let that stop me from still enjoying life and new adventures and still being able to go for it! 

Now I need to confess quite boldly that I love wooden roller coasters!  They are my favorite rides everywhere and anywhere.  The older and the shakier, the better the thrill!  I love getting to go on the Great White at least once every year that stands prominently right here in our own backyard on Morey’s Pier in Wildwood!  Do you know that I was once on the Cyclone Coaster at Palisades Park forever endeared to our hearts in the old Freddy Cannon hit song?  Has anybody out there ever been on the world famous Cyclone out on Coney Island???  I have!  I made sure that I experienced the excitement both in the front car and in the back car.  It was the only ride that literally made me see stars when I got off of that crazy thing! 

Now back to my latest episode of Rudy’s amusement park memories!  I had gone on the monster wooden giant named El Torro for the first time at Six Flags last year and was looking forward to a return engagement.  It dwarfs the Rolling Thunder Wooden Coaster that still sits lonely right next door to it that I thought was so huge back in the 70′s!!!  After waiting in those forever lines that are always a big part your entertainment dollar at work, I finally got to take my turn and get into my seat.  I knew at once that there were going to be problems because the ride operators had huddled over me- shoving the safety bar down upon my mid section over and over again!  It hurt!  It made me cry out a big, “Ouch!”  But I didn’t want to make a scene so I patiently allowed them to do their job and hoped that we could just get on with the ride.  But eventually, a young lady came down and knelt beside me and politely told me that she hoped I would enjoy any other rides at Six Flags that day because I was not going to be able to go on this one! 

I immediately felt stupid and embarrassed as I had to get up and get off the ride while everybody else watched!  I wanted to cry!  I was too big for El Torro!

Now I know that many of you would have just accepted the news and let it go, but not me because I just couldn’t.  I wanted to get on that ride.  So I did not eat a thing the rest of the day and I jogged in place while waiting in other lines and I did everything I could to try to lose a pound or two before I would venture to El Torro again.  And late in the day, after the shifts had changed, I went for it!  I knew full well that I could be embarrassed yet again!  But with my gut sucked in and my belt tightened as far as it would go- this time I was going to make it!  I was determined and yes I did ride El Torro and yes I did enjoy it and yes I am still a big kid at heart! 

I guess what I am trying to share with all of you today is that the crowds aren’t always right and just because one person with a badge might tell you a definitive, “No!” doesn’t mean that it necessarily has to really be a “No Go!”  And even though I was made to feel foolish and left out because I literally didn’t fit in the first time, didn’t mean that I had to allow somebody else to define me!  I knew that I had ridden that ride before and I knew that I could do it again!  And when the end of the day came- the story wasn’t one of defeat but of success and I got the picture to prove it!!!

Now what is somebody telling you that you can’t do, that you know you can???

For some strange reason that I am not sure that I have an answer to, it seems that more couples are waiting for autumn to be married rather than the hot summer months as was more the practice in the past!  As a matter of fact, today I am uniting Kori and Rick together in holy matrimony and before the year is over- I have another half-dozen weddings that will take place!  I take every wedding that I officiate very seriously, and I make it a practice to meet with each couple for some pre-marital counseling before we even get to the “I Do” big day!  It makes me more than a little concerned when I witness too many couples spending more time preparing for the honeymoon than they do for the union which kicks in full time shortly afterwards!  The wedding lasts a day- but in God’s mind- the marriage is still a forever thing!  I want to do whatever I can to give each man and woman some key tools that will help them build a cathedral of love that no storm or amount of years and wear and tear can destroy!  There may be some damage- but when commitment remains strong and in tact at the foundation- despair doesn’t have to set in and undermine what God has joined together!

Now through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery.  Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behavior and life-style once their vows are exchanged?  Finally, the riddle is solved!  A social-scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation. When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle, she sees the altar at the end and there waiting for her in all of the glory that the groom can muster- him!  Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process starts where the brain absorbs these three stimuli: aisle, altar, and him.  She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these perceptions:  aisle, altar, him. . . aisle, altar, him. . . aisle, altar, him!  And finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is complete.  She looks up at him smiling sweetly and keeps saying to herself. “I’ll alter him.”

I enjoy this joke and I have told it more than once at the ceremonies I have been in charge of, but in all seriousness when two do become one- the question is not, “Which ONE do they become?”  Both the man and the woman must bring the very essence and excellence of who they are to the union and together they contribute heartily to allowing the mighty Hand of the Creator to orchestrate His new tapestry that He is delightfully designing by using the absolute best of both of them!  Neither one gets swallowed up by the other but in unity and not uniformity, God is allowed to manifest His latest masterpiece by showcasing His miracle of how much better these two are as one couple than they could have ever been as a solo act!  Together they are better and the better they are- the more we on the outside will still be able to recognize what God is doing on the inside!  As their distinct and unique strengths are being blended in unison, what is produced is wonderful refreshment that as we drink it in, our thirst of desiring the fruit of what real love tastes like is quenched.  You can keep the world’s “kool-aid”- because it isn’t working!  God takes the whine out of society’s wedding wine and He miraculously recreates the real deal!

 Soon after Paul and Marilyn were married, Paul stopped wearing his wedding band.
“Why don’t you ever wear your ring?” Marilyn asked.  “It cuts off my circulation,” Paul replied.  “I know,” she said. “It’s supposed to.”  God doesn’t do this work with entire families!  He does it with one man and one woman who leave so that they may cleave together and become a new creation!  I have seen too many opinions that really don’t matter messing up way too many marriages these days!  There is only room for two to become one!  And let’s leave the main job of getting that task done to Jesus!  He does the best when it comes to alterations and His work has prevented many an unnecessary altercation! 

Genesis 2:24 reads, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  Aisle- altar- to come to him so that together the One who takes our ordinary songs and turns them into classic Hymns can create some new  music to last a lifetime!  And what He writes are definitely the best love songs around!  Remember, God is after all is the the very author of  LOVE!

Where were you when Irene came a calling?  I know that it will be a night that as long as I live, I will soon not forget.  As I shared with you already, for some strange reason that I still cannot clearly articulate, I remained glued to Cape May County when the mass exodus was on.  I could not leave behind the home and the church and the community that I love so much.  Even my dear wife Terri was openly miffed at me and not pleased with my decision to remain behind.  I didn’t mean to hurt her.  A huge part of me thought that the wise and right thing to do was to join her and my family in Lebanon, Pennsylvania.  But when the hurricane approached at our doorstep- and as the last window of opportunity to escape came and closed- I hunkered down at The Lighthouse Church with no idea what was really spread out before me.  I waited and trusted that God would take care of me even when I was not able to look out for myself.

“When I can’t see You, I know You’re there… When I can’t feel You, I will not fear… I will trust in You and I will not be afraid.  When the battle is close at hand… Though You’re with me and help me stand…  I will trust in You and I will not be afraid.”  Those are the lyrics from a praise song by Jeremy Camp.  That song was blasting on the stereo in the Youth Room at the church where I was camped out through the wee small hours of the eventide.  Its words were my comfort and compass that kept me looking up- not for impending devastation but for an impeding divine preservation.  I didn’t feel in my gut that God had kept me behind to harm me- but to teach me that His presence was more dependable than any meteorologist’s forecast. No matter how dark the prognostication might have been for the night, God brought the light and peace in the morning and I for one was honored when I was able to greet Sunday’s dawn in one piece!

As Saturday night’s adventure began, I went into our Sanctuary and gave a piano concert which featured me singing at the top of my lungs.  Since only Jesus showed up to hear me, I had no reason to hold back in the passion department.  In many ways, it was kind of fun to have the church all to myself.  But let me make it very clear, I was afraid.  It is easy today to smile broadly, now that I know how positive it had all turned out- but at the time I prayed quite humbly and boldly, “Dear Lord, will you please just shout out ‘Goodnight Irene???”  I was waiting for the winds to kick in to overdrive and the roof to blow off at any moment.  I was prepared for the worst and begging heaven for the best! 

It was right about then that messages starting coming in on my phone from Texas.  Mostly at first, they were just Bible verses in text such as, “You will keep him in perfect peace, he whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You (Isaiah 26:3).  “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21).  “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine” (Isaiah 43:1).

The scriptural hotline was coming from Christina. She was a young lady who had been in my Youth Group back in the 1980’s when I lived and was a Pastor in Dayton, Ohio.   Now after all these years, God was using her powerfully in my life again as she graciously decided to keep me company through the night as I was going though this storm alone. Christina set up a command center from her house, miles and miles away from Irene and sent me regular updates on the weather along with the Word of God to New Jersey!  Back when she was in my Youth Group, we used to sing a song that went something like this, “Friends are friends forever- if the Lord’s the Lord of them, and a friend will not say never, because the welcome will not end,” and just like all those years before, God was knitting our souls together in ways like nothing else could.  God called Christina to be my special angel sent from up above to walk alongside of me.  Words will never properly express how blessed I feel because of what she did for me.  She would tell me later how angry she was with me at first that I did not heed her warning to obey the law and evacuate.  But when push came to shove she offered compassion and mercy rather than a cold shoulder and I for one received with open arms her hug rather than her frustrated with me slug!

On Saturday at 11:31 pm, Christina wrote me, “I am heartbroken to hear that you are still there Rudy! I will be praying for you all night!! I have been there and done that and promise you that you won’t believe all of the experiences that are ahead of you. Be sure you have a flashlight and radio close by, shoes on and able to get to high ground quickly. Praying that the God of all comfort, will shelter you in the shadow of His mighty wings as this storm passes over!! You are loved!”  Right before midnight, she shared, “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save; He will rejoice over You with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17) HUGS!!!  ‎At 4:30 in the morning, you could imagine my surprise as I realized that the power was still on at the church and unless I was dreaming- I was still here- alive and well and safe and dry. I cried out an unashamed, “Thank You Lord!”

At 7:10 am, Christina wrote, “Now I know what I was seeing when I saw that strange break in the weather all around you.  It wasn’t strange at all; it was the Hand of the Almighty pushing the storm away from you!!!  I replied right away by telling her, “Christina you will never fully know how much God used you in my life last night. You were my angel sent straight from Him and even though you were not physically here, thank you for going through this journey with me. I love you!”  Christina answered with an “Awww, shucks!!!  Thanks Rudy!  I know it didn’t make any difference to the weather. I just wanted to keep encouraging you through whatever you had to go through and keep your eyes focused on the only One who could protect and preserve you!!”  I can tell you all that she fulfilled her purpose well!  She lived up to her name and was Christ in skin to me when I needed to know that no matter what- everything was still going to be alright!

So, “Selah and know God is God and I am not!”   And I can without hesitation share with you all that I will not be applying for the job any time soon. I do know anew that LIFE really is a gift and it is quite the remarkable experience when you know that you are loved and when you share that love with whoever God puts in your path!  Irene wasn’t so bad because Christina showed up equipped with love and once again, love conquered all.  It always does and it always will! 

 I am sitting here at my desk on this Friday afternoon before the storm and I am not really sure what to do. My family has left for Pennsylvania and common sense shouts to me that I should be with them- but for some unknown reason to me- I am still here and I can’t go yet. I am not trying to be stupid. I am not trying to prove anything. I am not really feeling any extreme male need to seek a thrill. I am just frozen in place at this moment. I can’t seem to muster the gumption to kick my body into high gear to function and move! So I sit and I wait and I wish I genuinely knew what it was I was looking for.

I just got home late last night from a trip to western Pennsylvania where I spent the last few days visiting with my son Rudy and my beautiful daughter-in-law Lindsey and my new grandson Jude. They just recently moved to Johnstown where Rudy is the new Assistant Pastor at the Pike Grace Brethren Church. I was so very proud that I got to see him in action on the job and I got to love on Jude as much as the time on the fleeting clock would allow me to. It was worth every mile of the long drive to and from just to be able to hold him and let him know by my touch how much his Pop-Pop loves him. If contentment could be frozen in a moment of perfection this side of heaven- it would be the simple activity of just being with Jude and having him in my arms and looking into his eyes and being grateful. I wish it could have lasted a lifetime.

During our time away together, my son Joel and I took in an Indian’s baseball game at Progressive Field in Cleveland which just happens to be my favorite ballpark in the world. I lived in the area while they were constructing this masterpiece of a stadium and even though I moved to Nebraska before it actually opened- I have returned many times since and I have found it to be the absolute best place to watch baseball! My son and I had a blast together Tuesday afternoon as the Tribe won in walk-off fashion with a bottom of the 9th three run home run complete with fireworks. We also got to see a young lady named Vickie with two of her boys at the game. I was Vickie’s Pastor when she used to be in my Youth Group when I worked in Stow, Ohio back in the early 1990’s. She has always been like a daughter to me so you could imagine my joy when we actually got to hang out together. God gave us a great little reunion in the middle of a city that has always rocked in my book!!!

Before we left Johnstown on Thursday, Rudy and Lindsey took us to a local restaurant called “Off The Rak” where I ordered a sandwich called “The Belly Buster,” which consisted of 2 grilled cheese sandwiches with a half pound rare hamburger and 2 fried eggs with cheese in between the grilled cheese. It was an incredible dining experience even though it wasn’t the healthiest of food fare that I have ever partaken of but I wanted to go for it and I am glad I did! One of the best parts of visiting new areas is eating a specialty of that town and I am open to trying new treats anyplace, anywhere at anytime! We also got to see the world’s oldest record store in Johnstown called George’s Song Shop which holds 5 floors of records and over 1 million 45’s in stock. Needless to say a music lover like me could have spent a month here but Jude wasn’t as delighted his grandfather so I made sure that I found a long lost golden oldie that I can’t wait to play on Rudy’s Morning Funhouse soon!

I just spent a lifetime of memories in the last few hours this week and I get home to be hit with the chaos and confusion caused by Hurricane Irene. Why do storms have to come and spoil the feeling? Why does there always have to be an end to our celebrations here on earth? Why can’t the joy ever last? Why does some frightening forecast always have to rain on our parades? I don’t know the answers to my quandaries other than that this world is not my true home! I am only passing through and I am not to get too attached to anything here that would get in the way of my desire to seek higher ground. Maybe that is why I am still sitting here in Cape May County when everyone has been ordered to evacuate. Maybe I don’t want to leave something that I am too afraid that I might not ever see again. Maybe I think that I can prevent this powerful storm’s paralysis by my presence alone. I don’t know! I do know that I need time to reflect and that is what I am doing. And I pray that God will keep His hand of protection upon me while I wait in His presence. What will happen? I guess we will all find out by the time you read this in the paper. As for today, I can honestly tell you that I am fully resonating with the truth that my times are in God’s control for right now, I feel helpless! I didn’t say hopeless- just helpless. God please save us all from ourselves and help us to cherish what matters most- while it most matters! Amen…

Bob Dylan wrote one of my favorite songs “My Back Pages” back amidst the Beatles invasion of the United States in the summer of 1964. It was recorded in June of that year under the working title “Ancient Memories,” and was the last song on the album, “Another Side of Bob Dylan.” The song was partly based on the traditional folk song, “Young But Growing.” In the song’s lyrics, Dylan criticizes himself for having been cocky and pompous and a little too certain that he once thought he knew everything and he apologizes for his previous overconfident stance. The lyrics also signal the reality of Dylan’s growing disillusionment with the 1960’s protest movement and hints strongly at his intention to abandon social songwriting altogether. One of the song’s most famous lines is the refrain: “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now…”

Bob Dylan would actually wait until 1988 before he ever sang My Back Pages live in concert and it was the group The Byrds that actually had the biggest hit with the record as it would be their last charting hit of the 1960’s. As for me, I have always resonated with this classic piece because as I have made my way through this life- I have grown to admit that I may not be as smart as I used to be- but I am a whole lot wiser now! It takes years to genuinely mature and it takes real life experiences to grow knowledge to its full fruitful end. You can’t learn everything from a book. You must understand that application is even greater than information and without inspiration you may never reach your peak aspirations!

The other day as I was playing My Back Pages on my FUN 106.7 Morning Show, I began to mess around with the lyrics and personalize them a bit. I actually became one with the composition and the words just seemed to flow fluently from me. While I know that it is an anathema for many to even mess with the works of Bob Dylan, I offer you my own version of this iconic classic and maybe these updated words will speak to you in an important way today!

MY OWN BACK PAGES- BY RUDY SHEPTOCK

Life zips by so fast these days- it’s so hard to catch my breath… And the feelings clash within my soul- seems just like I’m racing death… But the miracle never abandons me- as I feel His presence now- Oh I was so much older then- I’m younger than that now…

Insecure and wandering lost- I looked to find my way… Romantic dreams ripped through my seams- and love would never stay… I cried out from the deepest place- and sought my lasting wow- Oh but I was so much older than- I’m younger than that now…

Good and bad I know- both of these life make… Right and left the road- O Lord which one to take???

Records on my stereo- the songs of simpler times… And it’s almost as if as there he goes- he’s about to lose his mind… But right before the edge I soar- I feel his light upon my brow- Oh I was so much older than- I’m younger than that now…

Crimson blood flowed through his veins- to set my spirit free… Countless times his mighty hand- came down to rescue me… Lonely days faded away- into peaceful nights somehow- Oh I was so much older than- I’m younger than that now…